Uninformed Opinions: End Times Edition
Things I believe with moderate conviction while the news does whatever it’s doing.
https://open.spotify.com/track/0AxZUYeQ9bZwSdt1LmZuok?si=ral0cw_cSIODy8Fdummxsg
On the end of civilization, specifically
When a sitting president warns that a whole civilization will die tonight, I have questions about the mechanism. Are we talking nuclear? A Mayan calendar situation, but this time powered by technology we got from the hybrid aliens living behind the ice wall in Antarctica? Some kind of super-frequency sonic event ala Havana Syndrome?
Or if it’s America, perhaps we die of apathy. Slow and comfortable and completely unsurprised. The most American ending of all.
On death and reincarnation
When you die, I think that’s it. Lights out. But then maybe you wake up floating in your next mom’s stomach, just hoping this round is a little less exhausting than the last one. The bar is not high. You just want a slightly better draw.
On cruelty as a cultural export
Is selfish, unempathic cruelty a uniquely American trait, or does this profile exist in mass quantities in other countries too? I genuinely want to know. Not to feel better. Just to understand the distribution.
On the sex drive as early warning system
The decline of one’s sex drive is either a harbinger of impending death within the next few years, or the universe clearing the decks so you can focus on one last great effort before you go. I have chosen to interpret mine as the latter. Optimism is a choice.
On the end of the world and extreme sports
If the world ends tonight, I will not be sad that I never skydived. I don’t understand the need for that big of an adrenaline rush. We all did drugs in the 90s. That’s good enough.
On survival TikTok
Watching survival skills TikToks is almost exactly like actually learning survival skills. Except I have retained nothing and am completely unprepared for any emergency. But I have watched approximately 47 videos about building a fire with a stick and river water, so I feel informed.
This has been Uninformed Opinions. Forward it to one person who is also unprepared.
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